MEANSTREAT

This was written by my pet ape:

I said, Do you want to see a magic trick?
She said, Okay.
I said, Here, give me your hand for a minute.
She gave me her hand to hold.
I said, There, see, that was the trick. She didn’t remove her hand from mine but there was no tenderness in her fingers.
I said, I could take you to my favourite graveyard,
I could be your Tarot cards,
I could draw on you,
I could name every hair on your head,
I could buy the skeleton of the last great whale and build you a bedroom inside,
I could [shakeface wobble-obble-obble],
I could lick tears off your cheeks,
I could lick you in all the places you’re not sure if you like being licked,
I could count every pore in your skin,
I could be Elastic Man and make love to you through every pore in your skin simultaneously,
She said,
You’re weird.

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